she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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