The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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