He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
