Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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