Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
