I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
