Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
