i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
