Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
