im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
