I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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