can u get pink eye on your cock?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
