i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
