You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
