I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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