Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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