you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
