I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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