you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
