gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
please come you make the beer taste better
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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