My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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