I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
