Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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