So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
