pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
home. puking in laundry basket.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
