And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
