There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
