there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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