how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
