Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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