Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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