I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
