i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
