therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
