i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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