I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
