i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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