so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
