maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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