I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
