saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
