I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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