i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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