i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
