Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The Olympian is in my bed
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