I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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