I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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