the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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