he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
