So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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