$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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